100 Good Wishes Quilt
Traditionally in some parts of Northern China, when a baby was born, family & friends of the child would donate fabric scraps from old clothing to the child's mother. She would make a quilt for the child from the scraps.
It is said that the luck and energy of the people who wore these clothes surrounds the child when she is wrapped in the quilt.
So goes the story of the 100 Good Wishes Quilt. I made a quilt for Aubree while I was on medical leave with over 100 pieces of good wishes for her. It is a quilted wall hanging of beautiful flowers and it turned out pretty good! Aubree's quilt pieces didnt come from every member of the family but I made sure I said a good wish for her with every seam I sewed!!
I love you Aubree! I think about you all the time and wonder if you're here yet. I worry if you're safe, if you're warm, and if you're being loved until Mama can find you...
Some people just dont get it
Its going to be a long wait for you Aubree.... Mama is sick of answering the same questions for the same people over and over and OVER again. They just dont get it that adoption is just like a pregnancy - its going to take at least a certain amount of time and you are blessed with whatever pops out. End of story! :)
Here's a small list for those who dont get it:
1. No, I dont know when for sure
2. No, I dont know how old
3. If I dont know how old, how could I possibly know how big? What am I ESPer Ma?
4. No, I dont know what we need. That only makes sense if you understand we dont know how old or how big - right?
5. If you would like to help out and be supportive - how about reading a book about the subject? Gammy Fisher and Sis have and they have found it immensely helpful. Mama and Daddy have too so its a given that if you want to find out about something - read a book instead of asking the same questions over and over again. We've got plenty of books - we're glad to share!
6. Stop talking to people who have gone the adoption route until you've actually learned something about it from #5. You cant have an informative conversation with someone unless you know something about the subject you're speaking about.
7. Telling horror stories doesnt help us - we've studied the subject extensively and know what we're getting ourselves into. Are we prepared handle anything and everything, probably not - but at least we know WHAT could happen.
8. Dont ask us if we're afraid the baby will want to eat the pets. That just makes me laugh and thats not good for Mama's sore tummy right now :)
9. Dont ask if we're gonna do it again. We dont have Aubree home yet - how could we possibly know if we're going to do another adoption? We have to see how good/bad we do with one first before we talk about another one ;)
10. If you think waiting is hard for you - how do you think it is for us as the parents?
That list sounds mean and cruel to people trying to be supportive, but its how I feel about it right now. Dad doesnt get as many questions as Mama does... so he doesnt always understand why Mama gets a little ticked off with people. Thats just the way of the Ma - to look out for her baby girl!
Poem to pass the time
As we wait for Aubree, I like to post poetry that I find especially lovely - this particular one was posted out on Adoption.com.
From original poster:
This poem was based on the writings of a young birth mother, whom she shared with songwriter Michael McClean. It was also set to music and comes with a 100% guarantee that no one who has been involved with adoption in any way will make it all the way through with dry eyes!
FROM GOD'S ARMS, TO MY ARMS, TO YOURS
So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I've been thinking,
Cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I
Should give this child to you.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before, By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
If you choose to tell him,
If he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
Could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights,
I prayed and paced the floors,
And knew the only peace I'd find,
Was if this child was yours.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
This may not be the answer,
For another girl like me.
But I'm not on a soapbox,
Saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings,
And I'm trusting God above,
And I'm trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers' love.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
Run for your life! Ma's being creative!!!!
With much prodding from my Sis - I've decided that I should make good use of my recovery time and make something to give as gifts when our turn comes. I decided that I could create some really nice beaded zipper pulls - I got the idea from the one I got in Winter Park the last time we went skiing. How hard could it be to string a couple of beads on a little metal post and do a little twisting??
Lets just say its harder than it looks :) But the 4 I've done so far are really cute! They're going to be super easy to pack and wont take up any room whatsoever! I also got some red envelopes and a rubber stamp with the Chinese characters for 'Thank You' to stamp them with. I need to run to the scrapbook store in Valley Junction to get something nice to make note cards on - its going to all turn out great!
I'm going to make enough so I have a few for Aubree to have and one or two to put in her shadow box - got to have memories and treasures!
October and November 2002 referals coming in!
The October and November 2002 DTC referals starting coming in on Friday. Depending on how you do the math - the CCAA has gotten the referal times down to 10 months by doing 2 months at a time. The bad news is the US Consulate in G is swamped and doesnt have enough appointments available for everyone that needs to travel. I feel for the new parents... when we get our referal, I'm going to want to be on a plane that same day!
Only the CCAA knows if its going to continue to do two months at a time - I sincerely doubt that they will. If they do, we could be bringing Aubree home way sooner than we ever thought possible.... just cant think about that possibility and get excited about it... too much stuff could go wrong!
I will content myself with worse case and be pleasantly surprised when it does come!
Another document to China
Just when we thought we had all the paper work sent off to China - we've got to send one more :( I've got to take a letter from my GYN to our agency today because of the emergency hysterectomy I just had. Its not a big deal, but I just dont want to do it. I understand that the CCAA would need to know if I had a life-threatening illness like cancer but I dont - I will be completely healed in 6 weeks! I've had my labor going through this surgery - where's my baby!!! :)
I'm trying to think of the letter as the glucose test you have to take when you're pregnant - its not fun but you have to do it anyway.