the homestudy is done!!!!
We just got the final draft of our homestudy to look over - my gosh its HUGE! Lots of nice things written about us - only glitch is that we had to hurry up and designate someone else as the guardian if anything happens to us after we get Aubree. The social workers said that China would not accept Sis as our guardian because she's not married. WTF!!! So for the homestudy we designated M and K. Sis is still going to be our guardian - we just arent going to tell China that. Its incredibly silly - she lives in town, she's the one Aubree will have a close bond to, her kids are going to be like Aubree's siblings.... In saying that though, if anything were to happen to Sis, M and K are next in line to be guardians.
Now we can go get our fingerprints done!! WooWoo!! June DTC here we come!!
from a-parents newsgroup...
--Honey, sit down. I have some
news for you.
--What is it?
--Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just
come out with it. I went to the mailbox today and well, we got an
I-171H.
--A what?!? An I-171H? As in, we're going to have
another baby?!?
--It looks that way.
--But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the
blank I-600A forms. Didn't you hide our home study update?
--Of course I did. But don't forget, there was that
one night..
--What night? (pauses) Ohhhhh... that night. But it
was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly.
I didn't even use ink! (pauses again) But it was kind
of fun.
--(giggles) It was, wasn't it? I'll never forget how
cute you looked getting your fingerprints.
--So now we've got our I-171H, eh? But that doesn't
always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the
agency or something, make sure everything's okay?
--I already did.
--And?
--I'm five documents along.
--Five documents! And they're all notarized, certified
and authenticated okay?
--Just great. There was one small scare when the
agency couldn't see the notary's middle initial, but it showed up just
fine under the magnifying glass.
--Thank God. And you, honey? Are you feeling okay?
--I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happy
about this.
--Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first
when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy!
the red thread that connects us all
An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."
~ An ancient Chinese belief ~
research - what to tell our child about her birth parents
I'm reading a book right now about the 20 things adoptees wished their parents knew. I'm having a hard time deciding if its useful information or if its just a whole lot of emotional tripe from an author that holds her being adopted up as the root of everything that wrong in her life. Maybe it would be of benefit if someone could explain to me why the birth parents are the end all/be all of everything?? Why, if adoptive parents gave the same emotional support and love to a child that a birth parent would have given, is that not good enough?? Why must it be continually hashed over to ad-nauseum that yes, there are birth parents out there and yes, they gave you away?
Here's my take on things - it may be right... it may be totally wrong - but I think we have to start with something regardless. Dana and I will tell our child the following:
1. We love you. We loved you before you were born, we loved you when we met you, and we love you forever.
2. You were born in someone elses tummy, but what counts is that WE are your parents and WE are the ones that have loved and cared for you all of your life.
3. That someone else took steps to make sure that you were well cared for until we could come over and get you. We dont know the actual situation, but that someone cared an awful lot about you to make sure you had a LIFE and parents that loved you.
4. We are completely sure that someone was a good person.
5. We are a constant in your life - we will alway be there for you no matter what.
6. It is completely natural for you to have anger about certain aspects of your life - acknowledge the pain, express your anger, let us help you by allowing us to listen, and move on. Do not dwell on the elements of your past that you have no control over.
7. You are not second best because you were adopted. You are our true child - we always knew you were ours. We never wanted another child - it was always you we dreamed about.
8. You were not rejected - you were chosen to be our child. God brought us together because of his plan - not the actions of others.
9. Do not let the fact that you were adopted control your life. Your life is what it is. For better or worse, this is what you have been given to work with and you must make the best of it.
10. You are who you are - you are our daughter and your life is your own. Live it as best you can with the love and support we will give you as you grow.
This reminds me of a Saturn Commercial
It almost gives me a tear to watch. I think its such a well done commercial for both Fed-EX and Adopting children from China..
Enjoy:
From the A-Parents board...
Chinese Proverb:
"That the birds of worry and care fly above your head, this you cannot
change.
But that they build nests in your hair, this you can prevent."
and they freak out some more
Due to the SARs epidemic, the CCAA has decided for the good of everyone to suspend adoption referals. They are still going to process dossiers and pick out children that need homes, they just arent going to invite anyone over to pick up little children.
I have mixed feelings about it - I feel horrible for the little children that are waiting for families and those parents that are so close to their baby that they can taste it. But I also feel mostly untouched by it... our adoption is not that far along and the SARs will be a bad memory by the time we have the opprotunity to journey.
Teehee
Its always fun at work, when the BookSale comes to town. We all meet down in the pavillion and mull over all these books and kits. Range from How-to, to yoga, to Bonzai growing kits to of course kids books. I swear, our future daughter Aubree is going to be so knee-deep in books its ridiculous.. I mean sure we buy a book to to for ourselves, but there is always so many kids books from middle-schooler down to toddler, and we just keep buying them up..
I think it just helps make it more real for us that relatively soon (read: year) we will become parents and every book we geet will be new to her, no matter when we give it to her, and read her a story from it! :)
a poem
I found this out on the a-parents china newgroup today and it made me smile!
Why do I look different Mom?
Copyright 1998 Debbie Bodie
Why do I look different, Mom?"
Melanie will ask one day,
"How come I don't resemble
all the kids with whom I play?
My hair is inky black and straight,
my skin's a different hue,
So would you tell me, Mom,
why don't I look like you?"
"You're an Oriental flower,"
I'll tell my darling girl,
"Your skin and hair and eyes all come
from halfway 'round the world.
The sun of China warmed your skin
to that exquisite shade.
Your eyes are China's beauty marks,
your hair a silk cascade
the color of a midnight sky,
unlighted by a star.
So don't think you look different, dear,
you look like who you are."
all quiet on the eastern front
Not much to talk about adoption-wise. Waiting for child-abuse checks to come back, stuff to get certified, etc... just not real exciting at the moment.
Ordered Aubree a lifebook with my birthday money - at least I'll have that to work on for awhile during this 'hurry up and wait' paper pregnancy :)
Freaking out a little bit today about where to send her to school - the catholic school option is sounding more and more attractive as I hear more from Sis. Need to decide soon - she's not even born yet but these things have to be well strategize out in advance!! I'm Catholic (I'm not spelling that right am I??), Dana's Methodist - we go to a rad Methodist church now, but I would have no problem signing up in Sis's parish as a tithing member and sending my baby child to a church school.... So she'll be confused cuz she goes to one church's school and attends another - I think it would be way good for her since I dont have the religious background to help her out in that area. Need to talk to Dana when he gets home about it...